Flake Out
by UnfairestOfThemAll
Summary: Snow White launches a herioc quest across town to try and protect Emma from herself.


It was just like her to start off the conversation with a favor and without any regard as to whether the recipient of such a question would care, invite herself inside their home continuing to prattle on. Snow White was consistent and if nothing else consistently getting on Regina's last nerve. A talent that had begun a long time ago. It had gone on quite long enough if the vein in the middle of her forehead was any indication.

"This really is not a good time." Regina said speaking over her.

"Regina if you would just hear me out….I am trying to do what is best for my daughter."

The mayor stepped dangerously into Snow's personal bubble giving her the darkest look she could muster to coincide with the low tone of her voice, "Let me give you some advice dear, now is NOT the time nor place for this discussion. Emma is a big girl, she can handle it."

"Regina what is taking you so long?"

For once Snow White had fallen speechless as the subject of their little one-sided discussions voice rang down the stairs. Before either woman could respond Emma Swan had padded quietly to the top of the stairs and found herself stark naked in front of girlfriend and mother.

"Mom!" came her shrill shriek as her hands sought to provide cover for her most intimate parts.

"Emma!" Snow shouted, mortified as she turned on her former step-mother enraged "Regina!"

"I warned you." Regina shrugged, barely containing her victorious smirk.

There was a flare of nostrils as Snow White threw her enormous purse to the ground and made to remove her jacket as well.

"No, no, no, no." Emma said high tailing it down the stairs to stand firmly between the two. "Mom, please put your jacket back on we'll talk about this Monday."

"It is Friday Emma."

"I know. See the thing is we were going to tell you. " Emma stated as her face scrunched up and Snow's face became more enraged. Her hideous jacket had found its way around her oldest childs shoulders offering much needed cover. Not that Emma had a single thing to be ashamed of she was gorgeous. Later she would give herself a pat on the back now though she still had to deal with the latest in a long list of Regina's revenge mishaps.

"I came here to convince Regina to date you. Apparently we just skip the courting stages now that we're in "her" world. You used to be so proper!" Snow bemoaned, head in hand being a touch overdramatic even by her standards.

"Tell her to date me? I'm thirty years old Mom, I date who I want!"

"I know sweetheart but you don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to men. Regina is already part of the family as Henry's other mother. She embodies a lot of qualities that you need in your life while giving you someone that can understand you better than anyone, she said that a few weeks ago." Snow leaned in towards the former Queen with an oh so pleased with herself smile "And we know she was a bad girl. The baddest bitch of all time. I know that's kind of your thing." Snow White produced quite proudly with a wink to her open-mouthed daughter.

Emma looked from her mother to girlfriend. "Regina, please say something. Make it stop."

Appearing rather pleased Regina shook her head. "Queen is a considerable upgrade."

"So it is settled." Snow beamed and grasped Regina's hand, "I expect you at dinner next week."

"What? Now hold on just a minute," Regina followed her to the door.

"No, I insist. We have to make it official."

"Mom I swear to God if you tell anyone I will" Both females awaited rather curiously to hear the end of that statement. Emma pointed between the two of them aimlessly before tossing an apple at her girlfriend who caught it unflinchingly, shining it on her shirt, before holding it towards her dear Snowflake.

"Doesn't it look good? I bet you are just dying to take a bite."

To the shock of Emma her mother did not back down as she snatched the apple never taking her eyes away from Regina. "I do this and you will date my daughter?"

The mayor leaned in with the smile so blindingly wide it nearly split her face, "If it is the last thing I ever do."

Neither of them acknowledged Emma's," Um hello, right here."

If anyone could eat an apple aggresively it was the saviors mother as she took a crunch inducing bite and chewed heartily. Regina wore a dark smirk as Snow roughly handed the apple back. Feeling a showdown was soon to follow Emma ushered her mother toward the door completely oblivious to the fact that she remained naked under the borrowed coat.

"So next week?" Regina inquired, Snow happily nodded feeling satisfied that her plan had more than succeeded with so little fight.

"You kids have fun. Oh, forgot my coat." she said popping her head back through the doorway, hand extended as Emma shrugged it off." Don't forget to use protection."

Quietly the door shut behind her.

"Regina?"

"Hmm?"

"What the hell just happened?"

"I have no idea." She answered pulling the blonde to her in a heated kiss that had led to her nakedness before they had been so rudely interrupted. "Let's see if we can alert the town before she does."


End file.
